fractalfreckle

My favorite people to be around are people who can banter like me. Someone on the same playing field, who can go toe to toe with me in a conversation. I get very passionate about things I talk about. If someone matches my energy and continues the conversation in a funny, meaningful, or thought-provoking way, I LOVE it.

I’m talking quick wit, quips, jokes, comebacks, interesting information, facts, examples, ideas. A great conversation is extremely important to me, and it’s been especially hard to find it while dating.

I’ve found that a lot of men are intimidated by a woman who speaks with fervor. It’s not an ego thing… I’ve put a lot of work into becoming confident in my words and my wit. It’s something I have learned to do, it’s a skill. Most men just don’t like funny, smart women because it’s a skill they envy. The exceptions are most of my friends, my dad, and my boyfriend. It’s a beautiful amazing thing when it does occur.

Brittany Broski on her podcast The Broski Report really illustrates this. She says, “So few times in my life … I have had conversations with a man who … is in my “weight class” so to speak, where it’s sometimes I’m struggling to keep up with him … you have the upper hand, and then they have the upper hand, and it kind of ebbs and flows, but you are matched.”

Men in my past at least, would constantly refrain from talking about “complicated” things they’re interested in because they thought of me as dumber than I actually am. They didn’t want to make my head pop apparently. But the men in my current life who I’ve kept, like my dad and boyfriend, don’t assume how smart I am and just tell me things they found funny/interesting/etc. Even if I don’t know about what they’re talking of, it’s refreshing to learn about new things.

I’m so incredibly grateful I’ve found a partner who is matched with me. We’re both educated individuals who are also chronically online. It’s hard to find someone who is both those things, it’s usually one or the other, so when it does happen it’s really magical.

Side note: I have many of these conversations while I’m high, interestingly. I find that weed opens my mind and I feel more able to talk freely without anxiety or inhibition. In fact, I write these when I’m high almost exclusively. It’s a great creativity booster (and hunger booster. But that’s a different topic for later).

I really truly value someone who can hold a great conversation. If we’re not expanding each other’s minds, I don’t want it!

~ authors note ~ yay I have ten entries in my “prompt” series! I hope whoever’s reading this, whether it’s a stranger, a loved one, or myself in the future, is enjoying what I write here. I enjoy reading comments and checking out the blogs of people who interact with me. Thank you all!